True History: Victimless Crimes of Passion
The town of Skallsville, NH, is known for its vinegar and its consumption of mason jars. One local resident said it was “akin to living on the inside of a thing of delicious pickles.” He asked to remain unnamed. Looking at Skallsville’s history, one would think it was just another vinegar town, but we at Why Is a Mouse When It Spins have found that to be not quite completely true.
Tony and Little Sahsahl, inventors.
Some people say that the Gods did not want us to have fire, and punished Prometheus for his thievery. Others say you cannot step into the same limo twice. Tony and Little Sahsahl, residents of Skallsville (pictured above), were dissatisfied with the lack of wheeled things in their town. You see, Skallsville had outlawed any and all wheeled transport after the Brine Spill of 1808, which caused many foot problems and short hemlines.
Punishment for violations were odd by today’s standards, and included such archaic things as The Stork and Chopping, Not Quite (pictured below).
The Stork, an ancient punishment for wheeled transport.
Tony and Little were unswayed by the crazy rhetoric of the Town Fathers, and set about, in secret, to perfecting their so-called “Bouncy Wheel Cushions.” They were quite young and unaware of the existence of tires.
Two years later, their prototype was developed and embraced by the Town Senate. But Tony and Little had lost interest and were totally into the popular Cup-and-Ball game (known as a “boliche” in Spanish-speaking countries, and as a “bilboquê” in Brazil, all places the children never visited.).
Chopping, Not Quite
Is an invention any less because it already existed? Is it really stealing if nobody knows? We may never know the answers to these, or any other, questions. But history rolls on, its path a little less bumpy thanks to the Bouncy Wheel Cushions of time.
I can’t wait to write this up for our phone app !
Prometheus rather the Perseus?
But of course! Prometheus. How could we have mistaken Perseus for Prometheus. Somebody’s going to get their liver eaten for this, but I cannot say who.
the “stork” is either a heron (left) or a pelican (right).
True History does not lie, but sometimes, facts are left unfounded.
We at Why Is a Mouse When It Spins? appreciate your comment regarding the birds. However, as historians, we must abide by local custom in naming these birds. The gentlemen in the photo, as well as the entire culture surrounding “The Stork” as punishment were not learned in the ways of birds. They relied on a tradition of oral storytelling and were unable to operate encyclopedias, as a general rule. Please forgive their misinformation.