Why Is a Mouse When It Spins?

In the history of American pastimes, the Yo-Yo is perhaps the most popular of all the toys the world over. We do not actually know, as the rock-on-a-string that predates the Yo-Yo also claims patent rights.

One man, Earl Terhauffte, tried to find a replacement for the Yo-Yo, as he felt it lacked imagination, and that the roundness of the object would negatively affect the chastity of boys and girls in his neighborhood.

He was unsuccessful with the Plough-Yo, the Old-Man-No, and the Holy-Ghost-O, but found lasting success with the Fish-Yo, pictured below.

Many people have travelled to Incriminy Creek to see the people who live there. Local legend tells us that the inhabitants are different in a way that warrants observation. Many have traveled there to see this difference for themselves. What makes this mystery more mysterylike is that people who visit rarely return the same. Or do they? (sigh) OK, look. Truth be told, our team went there and we, well, we lost some time. We don’t quite remember what happened, but we have these photos. If any of you find my wallet, please contact me. Also, we still can’t find Gerald’s hair piece, and he’s getting a bad sunburn. Thanks.

Invisible? Allergic?

Somebody put this in my copy of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. What could it mean?

There is said to be one high point there.

According to our research, toddlers and young children have been trying to get off the ground for many, many years. Now, for the first time, we have photographic evidence of this so-called ‘flight frenzy’ experienced in olden-times by the very young. Why were they so eager to get off the ground? Was there candy up there? Will we ever truly know, and if not, do we want to? Perhaps. Ultimately, however, the answer, like so many balloons, may be lost to the sands of time.

Young Platie Mulrooney, thinking of a flight by parasol.

Chirrep Monatan’s mother kept her from realizing her dream,
this sunny October day.

Young Millicent Seworthy studies the principles of gravity and aerodynamics,
but pretends she is merely playing with a ball.

Sonia Plutarch schemes, adorably.

Look up.

Popular subjects of early photography included humans, babies, curtains, and shrubs. Back then, ghosts were considered to be an ethnic group not worth mentioning, let alone photographing, but once in a while, they would craftily sneak into a photo or two.

Times have changed, and we’ve grown more open-minded. We’re lucky to be able to look back at our photographic heritage & honor the ghosts and goblins of yore. Here’s to the future, with plenty of stuff in it!

Mr. and Mrs. Hennessy may not have noticed the amorphous presence above them, but the photographer seems to have caught it in frame quite nicely:

Freyetta Jacobi and her baby Lila, pictured here near their front porch, were photographed by well-known wandering tradesman Joiffle Pulsipher, who travelled with a capricious and fun-loving ghost:

On this sunny day at school, Leticia, Criabaib and Maddog Meinscharff were photographed by the Mayor. Is that a phantom debutante?

Savor “Salty” Scrubbs seems happy to let the ghost play with his young son, Ira. Recent evidence has come to light that this may be the ghost of wise-cracking Crankhoff Scrubbs, III, but this is not confirmed.

In the land of shadows, dwells a girl.

She keeps the shadows at bay.

Lucy Plumvitae

If you wish to help in her fight, turn a light on.

Unbeknownst to them, these people were in the circus.

How did this happen? Nobody knows. But one thing is certain: nobody likes a tattle-tale.

The Sensibline Twins

The Feltman Contortionists

The Besombreroed Lady

Annie Ponsetter & Her Fancy Bush

The Infantamentalist

If you’re like me, you believe things are as they are only because they are not another way. And further, you believe that anything you DO believe should be held at arm’s length for a long while, be contemplated, and then rejected out of hand.

But one thing that all good-hearted people believe is that if you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean. The people of Grundelfork, SC, took this one step further, some say a step too far.

It all began one rainy afternoon in the mountains near Grundelfork. Mrs. Adamsonsmith was having her morning cigarette while watching her baby eat. She was struck by the sheer laziness of the baby. I mean, really.

Lucy Andersonsmith has time to lean.

So, she put her daughter to work on the kitchen. This was such a success, despite the shoddy, lack-luster job she did, that soon families all over town began having their toddlers dust, shelve books, and wash the dog.

This project was short-lived, however, since babies are unable to read fabric care labels. This incidentally led to the famous Grundelfork Laundry Boom of ’49, which really put the town on the map. That’s a terrifically funny story, but we don’t have time for it now.

We at Why Is a Mouse When It Spins have stumbled across disturbing photographic evidence.

Do you see what happens?

This could be a day at the park spent burying Pepper. Or maybe it’s something unpleasant. We urge you draw your own conclusions based on my wild speculations. Make a game of it.

The important thing is, this is all true.

UPDATE: We in no way encourage the thought that they were burying their daughter as punishment.

Please note: The following photographs may be disturbing to sensitive viewers.

Joe always joked with his friends that he emerged, fully formed, from a palm. But was he joking? Were his parents devotees of the love that dare not speak its name, for it hath none?

Emma and Ira defied convention at every turn.

Lola Plangten of Los Angeles knew her client base well, and wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty.

Solveig Eriksen, pictured above with her husband, found love in a most unusual place. Her sisters did not understand, but Lola may have.

During the early part of the Twentieth Century, a majority of Americans had their photos taken while posing in bushes. Nobody knows where or why this came into fashion, but in fashion it was, and why? Nobody could say.

Emma Qualten in her mock orange.

All across the country, people posed in shrubs, trees, and decorative borders.

Gina Esperanto

We have only snapshots and hearsay to account for this lost generation, these so-called Tree-Standers.

Zima Cramdall in her pine.

Was this just a short-lived fad, or something more?

Swanetta Johnson in the shrubs.

If we had to stand in their shoes, would we do as they did? Would you? We can’t say for certain, but it surely looks pleasant, standing in the bushes.

Jessica Triecorner

Jack Frenshaw

Henrietta and Gloria near the bird house.